


For handing you a heart worth breaking

by vogue91



Category: Hey! Say! JUMP, Johnny's Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Brothers, Bullying, Falling In Love, Family, Fights, M/M, Protectiveness, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 07:00:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,109
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15600861
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: He was only thirteen the last time Takaki had been at their house, the last time he had seen Kei and Hikaru talk to him, the last time they had been able to call each other ‘friends’.When they had stopped hanging out, Yuri hadn't blinked.He knew how little his brother cared for questions, even more when it was Yuri asking.





	For handing you a heart worth breaking

Yuri knew there was something wrong.

He had realized that the moment he had seen his brother and Hikaru get closer to Yuya, that there was something off.

How long had it been since he had last seen them together?

He was only thirteen the last time Takaki had been at their house, the last time he had seen Kei and Hikaru talk to him, the last time they had been able to call each other ‘friends’.

When they had stopped hanging out, Yuri hadn't blinked.

He knew how little his brother cared for questions, even more when it was Yuri asking.

That morning Kei had gotten out way before him, and even though Yuri had wondered why, he hadn't paid too much attention to it. He had just thought he had to meet someone.

Some new boyfriend or something like that.

He knew Kei well enough that there was always some new boyfriend.

Seeing him there in that situation instead, couldn’t leave him indifferent.

He stood aside, hidden by the school gate’s wall, unaware of the curious stares of the other students.

He saw Hikaru grab Yuya’s backpack and throw it on the ground, then get close to him with that malicious smile Yuri hated so much.

His movement was so close that the younger heard Takaki’s groan before he saw the punch to his stomach.

He opened his eyes wide, hearing his brother laugh.

“Did that hurt, Yuuyan?” Kei asked, sarcastic, then he got close to him and pressed a hand to his face, pressing on it with his fingernails, leaving a light trail of blood behind.

“Perhaps not enough.” Hikaru suggested, punching the elder one more time, this time right under his sternum, leaving him breathless on the ground.

“Yuya, Yuya...” Kei said, shaking his head. “Don’t you get it, after all this time?” his face got more serious, his features sharper. “You should've understood two years ago that your place isn’t here anymore. You should've understood you should've left, but...” he smiled again, as if he had calmed down all of a sudden. “But if you’d rather stay, then Hikka and I will be more than willing to welcome you back. Every day.” he stated, then he got away with Yaotome, heading toward the school gates, far enough for them to avoid any indiscreet stare, save for Yuri’s.

The latter was astonished by what he had just witnessed.

He realized his mouth was hanging open, and rushed to close it.

He looked at Yuya again while he got up, holding his hand where Hikaru had hit him, and headed toward the school himself, his eyes on the ground.

Yuri waited for him to have gotten away to go over the gate, walking hesitatingly.

How long had it gone on like that?

How long had his brother...

He didn’t understand.

He hadn't started high school long ago, that was why he could've never realized something was going; something that, according to what Kei had said, went on day after day.

Yuri couldn’t make reason with it; he didn’t understand what could've happened of so serious for the two of them to stop hanging out with Yuya, and even less he understood how serious could it have been for them to start making fun of him and beating him, without getting any reaction out of him.

Yuri was disturbed, and he didn’t like it.

He remembered Yuya well. Him, Kei and Hikaru had been friends since middle school, and he was just a kid when he had first met him.

He had always liked his serene attitude, he had always been his favourite among Kei’s friends.

More than Hikaru, for sure, and facts seemed to prove him right.

He walked inside his classroom unwillingly, looking around without listening to what his history teacher was saying.

He couldn’t keep Yuya’s face out of his mind, nor Hikaru’s rage.

And even more, he was haunted by the evil stare on his own brother’s face.

 

~

 

During the following days, he saw them again.

To tell the truth, he went looking for them.

When Kei got out of home, Yuri waited a few minutes and then followed him, from afar, so that he wouldn’t have realized it.

They always ended up into different corners of the yard or the entrance or the field, careful not to be seen.

And every day they beat him and told him that that was his place, and Yuri had heard that so many times by now that he couldn’t forget those words, wondering how Yuya had managed  to live with that for the past two years.

During one of those mornings, Hikaru and Kei crossed the line.

After having gotten away, Yuri saw Takaki stay there on the ground, his nose and his mouth bleeding, not a hint he was going to get up any time soon.

He hesitated.

He already felt horribly guilty because he kept watching and never intervened, because he couldn’t tell anybody about what was going on.

He would've felt even worse under that circumstance if he had left him there bleeding without helping him.

Truth was, he was ashamed.

He was ashamed his own brother was the one doing this to him. He was ashamed of Kei’s words and actions as if they were his own, and he imagined how little Yuya would've wanted to be helped by him.

But seeing him staying there on the ground, he walked out of the wall behind which he had been hiding, and reached for him.

Yuya raised his eyes only when he got closer, and Yuri saw him wince as soon as he recognized him.

“Yuri...” he murmured. “What do you want?” he added then, defensive, and the younger couldn’t blame him.

“Nothing, I...” he stuttered, biting his lip. “I saw you down, and I thought you might need a hand.” he said, his voice low, almost as if he was scared of his reaction.

Yuya sighed, shrugging.

“There’s nothing I need, thank you.” he said, gritting his teeth. “Not from you, not from any member of your family.” he added, sarcastic.

Yuri watched him get up, having a hard time doing so, and groan for the pain; then Yuya made as to leave, but before he turned toward him. “Tell your brother that...” he paused, sighing. “No. Don’t say anything. If I had something to let him know, I’d tell him myself.” he murmured, talking more to himself than to Yuri.

The latter watched him leave, feeling a sudden emptiness in his chest.

He wanted to stop him.

Stop him and tell him that he had nothing to do with what Kei did to him, that he didn’t even know why he did it, that there was no reason to treat him like that, that...

Why did he care, after all?

Why did he keep following Kei day after day, why did he keep watching while he and his best friend beat someone who had been their friend too once, why couldn’t he do something about it, or stop watching if there was nothing he wanted to do?

He had told himself that his curiosity was about the reason why his brother was doing something so horrible, so unexpected, but right now he realized it wasn’t like that.

He wasn’t there for Kei.

He was there for Yuya and that too, he couldn’t explain.

 

~

 

It happened again. It went on for a week, and Hikaru became harsher and harsher with Yuya, and Kei followed suit with his usual apparently delicate attitude, a painfully effective one.

Yuri couldn’t take it anymore.

He couldn’t watch once he had found out  how much it hurt, once found out how it was impossible to meet Takaki in the hallways at school and look him in the eyes.

That day Yuya seemed to bear Hikaru’s punches worse than usual, just as Kei’s words.

He asked them to stop, which he normally didn’t, and that was most likely what hit Yuri.

For the first time, he took a step forward.

They were in the inside yard, at that hour it was deserted, and for the three other boys it was impossible not to see him coming.

Hikaru stopped hitting Yuya, still holding him by a sleeve, while Kei opened his eyes wide, taking a few steps away from them.

“Yuri, what the hell...” he said, licking his lower lip, nervous. “Go away. It’s none of your business.” he ordered, trying to sound as commanding as possible.

Yuri barely recognized his brother in that voice.

“Let him go.” he told Hikaru instead, frowning, without allowing himself to move his eyes on Yuya.

Yaotome looked at Kei, confused, as if asking what he should've done.

They were floored, but from the look on Kei’s face Yuri knew he wasn’t willing to let his presence influence the situation.

“Yuri, I told you to leave.” he repeated, if possible even colder than before. “Trust me, it’s better if you do.”

Yuri recognized the threat behind his words, but he still didn’t care.

If he had left now, he knew there would've been nothing left to save. He knew that Yuya would've deemed him a coward just like his brother, he knew he was never going to find the strength to interfere again.

He got closer to Takaki, putting a hand on top of Hikaru’s and using all the strength he had to make the elder let go, hoping the gesture was going to be enough.

If he had wanted to, Hikaru could've hurt him more than he could've imagined; but as it resulted, Yuri’s calculations had been exact.

Sighing, Kei pushed him away from his friend, then he grabbed Hikaru’s wrist and got away.

“We’re done for today.” he hissed, going away and looking at his younger brother. “If you dare to meddle with my business again…” he left the sentence hanging, then he smiled. “Let’s go, Hikka. See you tomorrow, Takaki, right?” he added, talking to the elder who was still kneeling on the ground.

They got back inside the building, leaving Yuri and Yuya alone in the courtyard.

“You shouldn’t have done that.” were the first words Yuya spoke to him as soon as the other two had disappeared inside.

Yuri arched an eyebrow, taking a packet of tissues out of his pocket and handing one to him.

“Should have I let them...” he stopped, blushing.

He already had let them, and Yuya knew that.

Those words couldn’t sound more hypocritical than this.

“Why did you do it?” the elder asked, and it seemed to Yuri that his voice was more relaxed than the first time they had spoken.

He just hoped he was finally convinced his intentions were good, that he didn’t think he was something like his brother.

At the moment, there was nothing that scared him more than that.

He shrugged, keeping his eyes down.

“I don’t know. I...” he sighed. “I remember how you, Kei and Hikaru were friends. I remember when you’ve stopped coming at our house, and I’ve wondered why. I thought you had fought with them, but...” he bit his lip, gloomy. “There’s nothing that could justify the way they’re acting.” he said.

Yuya, against all odds, laughed.

“Do you really think there’s something you can do?” he mocked him, mildly. He stood up, putting a hand down on his shoulder. “Yuri... let it go. It’s something bigger than you and me, and there’s nothing that’s going to make them stop. If what they do makes them sleep better at night, fine by me. I don’t care, really. You don’t have to meddle, it’s not worth it.”

The younger blushed, irritated.

“How can you say that?” he hissed. “Those guys beat you every single day  and you don’t do anything to defend yourself? Fight back, for god’s sake! Tell someone about it. But don’t come and tell me you’re fine with it, because that’s just impossible.”

Yuya looked at him, sad.

“Your brother’s right about one thing, Yuri: it’s none of your business.” he murmured, heading toward the door.

He didn’t say anything else, and left him alone there.

Yuri was about to burst.

If before he couldn’t understand Kei’s and Hikaru’s behaviour, now it was Takaki’s which confused him.

How could he stand all of that? How could he...

He sighed.

There was nothing that could be changed, now.

He had chosen to intervene that morning, so it had become his business alright.

He knew his brother wasn’t going to forgive him for what had happened, so why should have he worried to worsen an already ruined situation?

He didn’t know why, but he felt like he owed that to Yuya.

He wasn’t going to let them hurt him. Not again.

 

~

 

Yuri put his tray down in front of Yuya’s, looking around before sitting.

His brother’s eyes were on him, Hikaru’s too, they studies his every move.

Sighing, Yuri sat in front of the elder.

“How many times did I tell you not to sit with me, Yuri?” Takaki complained, stopping to eat.

His kouhai raised briefly his eyes on him, then he shrugged and started eating his lunch.

“How was your morning?” he asked, as if the elder hadn't said a thing.

“Yuri...” he whined again.

“What?” the other asked, his mouth full.

Yuya stared long at him, leaning back against the chair.

“Why can't you just let this go?”

Just then the younger put the chopsticks down, blushing.

“I...”

He didn’t know how to answer that question.

Or, even though he subconsciously did, he didn’t feel ready to tell him. Perhaps he was never going to.

He kept eating, ignoring him.

“I told you, you shouldn’t worry about me, Yuya. My brother would never hurt me, there’s no reason for you to be concerned.” he lied.

Kei hadn't taken his intromission well, not at all.

He had yelled at him, saying it was none of his business, he had told him he was going to regret it, but nothing had worked on Yuri.

He didn’t hear reason and didn’t catch threats, because his involvement had deepened too much.

He had fallen in love, without even knowing why.

He knew a scenario where the elder could reciprocate wasn’t realistic at all, but as much as he had tried, he hadn't been able to put a stop to what he felt.

And that was why he wasn’t going to leave Yuya alone in this, no matter the consequences.

“You don’t even know why they have started acting like this. Have you ever stopped to think that they may be right being mad at me?” the elder teased him.

Yuri opened his eyes wide, thinking about what he had said.

No, he hadn't thought about it anymore after a while, even though he should've at least wondered.

“I don’t care. Whatever you might’ve done, they’re wrong. This is no way to act, is it?” he said, determined. “Want... want to tell me why?” he asked then, unsure, while the elder laughed, bitterly.

“I shouldn’t. Not now, at least.” he replied, then he got up and grabbed his tray. “I better leave now. I don’t like to be looked at while I eat.” he said, raising his eyes toward the table were Kei was sitting, and Yuri didn’t need to look to know what he was talking about.

He watched him leave, as he always did whenever he tried to spend some time with him, and he unwillingly finished his lunch.

He didn’t like to be stared at while he ate either but, as opposed to Yuya, that had been his own decision.

 

~

 

“Can I come over, today?”

Yuya opened his eyes wide, then he shook his head and kept walking.

“Yuri, there’s being overzealous and there’s being stupid. I suppose your brother’s barely talking to you already, why should you make him even madder?” he asked, not managing to walk fast enough to put some distance between them.

It was another habit Yuri had taken, to walk that stretch of road with him.

He knew his schedule, since they were basically the same as Kei; he went early enough to allow the other two the privacy they needed to keep beating him, and Yuri imagined it wasn’t to make them any favour, but to avoid any curious stare on him.

At least that, he understood.

“Today my brother shouldn’t even be in school.” he told him, smiling. “I left my mother trying to get him out of bed and him saying he was sick. I think he’ll have his way in the end.”

“There’s still Hikaru.” Takaki sighed, stopping and putting his hands on Yuri’s shoulders. “I know you’re doing this for me, Yuri, but at least don’t follow me in the morning. It’s pointless, they don’t listen to you and there’s nothing you can do for me, don’t...” he seemed to feel guilty about his comment, and rushed to add: “Not when they’re there, at least.” he sighed.

“But I can still try, can't I?” the younger murmured, weirdly mortified by Takaki’s words. “I know I'm not of much use, but...”

Yuya smiled to him, shaking his head and trying to soothe him.

“That’s not true. You’re... you’re the only one who’s realized what’s going on, and you’re the only one who has offered to help in two years.” he explained, then his eyes got sad. “But now now, Yuri. Go to your classroom, okay? I... I’ll see you at lunch.” he said, as if he was offering something in exchange.

Yuri bit his lip and nodded, unwillingly, and headed toward the entrance while Yuya walked to the courtyard.

He realized there was something off when he saw Hikaru leaning against one of the columns close to the front door.

The elder got closer to him with a smile, the one Yuri despised so much, and he grabbed his wrist, pretending everything was normal, as to not stand out.

“Come with me, Yuri.” he hissed in his ear, dragging him on the back of the school.

The opposite side, the younger noticed, from where Yuya had gone.

As soon as they were far from all the other students, Yuri raised his eyes on him and wiggled out of his hold.

“What do you want?” he asked, fixing his uniform. “My brother isn’t coming today.” he added then, feeling anxious all of a sudden.

There was something wrong.

He didn’t understand why Hikaru was there with him, instead of going to Yuya as every other morning, Kei being absent or not.

He bit his lip and backed off until his back met the wall.

Yaotome chuckled, nodding.

“Yes. Yes, I know Kei won’t come. But it’s better this way, isn’t it? You know what they say, what he won’t see won’t hurt him, right?”

Yuri had barely the time to intake those words, that the first punch hit him.

It hurt. A lot. 

He fell on his knees, holding his stomach and gasping, searching for air.

After a few seconds he looked up to the elder, who was staring at him, satisfied.

“Does it hurt, Yuri?” he asked, sugared, then his fist met his face.

The younger had to struggle not to scream, aware of how counterproductive it would've been to let someone hear.

He kept still on the ground, groaning every time Hikaru hit him, trying to bear the pain and hoping it was going to be over soon.

He kept thinking about Yuya, who had been undergoing the same treating every day for two years, and he understood even less how in the world he had managed to take it for so long.

“We had warned you, kid.” Hikaru said, after yet another punch. “We had told you you shouldn’t have meddled.” he leant down, until he was looking straight into his eyes, brushing a finger over the blood on his lip, then showing it to him. “Look. Is that piece of trash really worth this? Did you ask yourself if Takaki is worth this pain?” he hissed, slapping him one last time before getting up. “Be more careful to what you do from now on.” he warned him, then he turned around the corner and disappeared.

Yuri kept still.

He wanted to cry.

For pain, for frustration, for the humiliation.

He held on to the wall and, scratching his hand, he got up, unsure as to what to do.

He couldn’t be seen like that, he...

He swallowed, feeling on the verge of tears.

It was then that he heard steps getting closer, and he held his breath until he saw Yuya.

“Yuri!” he yelled, opening his eyes wide and rushing toward him, bringing an arm around his waist, helping him up. “What the hell happened?”

The younger shrugged, leaning against him and forcing a smile.

“Hikaru.” he answered. “I'm not used to it, I'm sorry.”

“Ah, cut it.” Yuya scolded him, raising his eyes and biting his lip, as if he was pondering about what to do. “Come. I’ll take you to my place, you can't go to school looking like this.” he said, scoffing. “They’re used to that on me.” he commented, slowly reaching the gate and then walking down the same road as that morning.

Yuri kept silent the whole way.

He liked the way he looked worried about him, even though he realized it was most likely guilt.

And he was going to his house. At least he had gotten something out of this.

He had often wondered about how he lived, and with what kind of family. Or rather, he had wondered what kind of family was able to overlook the fact that their son came back home every day covered in bruises, but he had never dared asking Yuya anything.

They kept walking, and when Takaki stopped in front of an anonymous building taking the keys out of his bag, Yuri realized they didn’t live very far apart.

That thought, for some reason, made him smile.

They took the elevator to the fifth floor, and once in front of the door, the elder turned toward him.

Perhaps Yuri had only imagined it, but he thought he had seen him blush.

“Don’t expect anything much. It’s not even that tidy, I didn’t have time last night.” he explained, and before Yuri could ask any question he opened the door, letting him in.

Yuri took his shoes off, looking around with his eyes wide open and reaching the living room.

It wasn’t too big; the living room and the kitchen were one room, two doors in the back, one of those close to the only window in the room.

He realized straight away that there was something wrong with that apartment.

“Is there someone home?” he asked, arching an eyebrow, feeling he knew the answer already.

“No, I... I'm on my own.” Yuya rushed to say, then he reached one of the doors, apparently the bathroom. “Sit down, I’ll take something for those cuts.”

Yuri did as he had asked, and sat down on the couch.

He looked around the room again; the place was very nice, and it wasn’t untidy as the other had warned him. Still, he found it impersonal.

There were no pictures on the walls, a few books on the shelves and nothing which really reminded him of Yuya.

The latter came back after a minute and knelt in front of him, starting to mend the cuts on his face, laughing when he saw him clench his teeth for the burn from the disinfectant.

“Come on, it doesn’t hurt that much. It’s just a moment.” he said, but he applied it more delicately nevertheless.

Once he was done Yuri thanked him, then he stood back up and started wandering aimlessly throughout the room.

“Why do you live alone?” he asked then, sure that the elder didn’t want to answer his question, but he couldn’t help asking anyway.

Takaki bit his lips, shrugging.

“I stayed at my grandparents’ before. But they live far from the school, over one hour by train, so when I turned eighteen they rented this place for me. When I manage to organize the housework it’s not that bad.” he explained, and Yuri couldn’t help but notice how that didn’t answer his question at all. “Would you like something to drink?” he asked then, as if he was realizing just now he had a guest.

The younger smiled embarrassed, shaking his head, and Takaki sat on the couch, patting next to himself to ask him to do the same.

“I'm sorry about what’s happened, Yuri. This wasn’t about you, he shouldn’t have...” he sighed, brushing his hands over his face. “It’s all my fault. I should've asked to transfer two years ago, when it’s started. I didn’t think someone else would've gotten involved.” he murmured, staring into space.

The younger bent a knee on the couch and turned toward him, unsure.

“Yuya... please, tell me what happened.” he asked, in a whisper. “They can't be _this_ mad at you, I... I can't imagine you doing something so serious to deserve all this.”

The elder smiled, sad, then nodded.

“Actually, it’s not like I did something.” he started, sitting more comfortably on the couch, still without looking into his eyes. He sighed, as if he had surrendered. “Hikaru and Kei have stopped being my friends two years ago. A few days after my mother’s death.” he explained, swallowing.

Yuri opened his eyes wide, if possible even more confused than he had been until now.

“But what... I'm sorry, I didn’t know, I...” he frowned. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Let me explain.” Yuya asked. “My... my father killed her.” he murmured, his voice so low that Yuri barely heard it.

He froze.

Why didn’t he know?

Maybe he remembered his parents talking about something like that, but in his mind he had never connected the two things, he had never thought that Yuya...

He got closer, challenging his courage and resting his hand on top of his leg.

“Yuu...” he murmured, sighing while the elder still avoided his stare.

“I’ve heard so many things. I’ve had to face the accusations and the rumours. Many have stopped talking to me, as if they were afraid, as if I was guilty, but Hikaru and Kei…” he bit his lip. “When it’s happened I just told them that my mom was dead, so when they learnt that my father had killed her, I think they have felt betrayed. They’ve stirred up the rumours, they’ve believed everything they have heard, and we’ve come to this.” he said, shrugging. “I’ve been trying for two years to let them and the others understand I'm not my father, that he’s in prison where he should be, and that I have nothing to do with him anymore. But once someone’s get convinced of something, it’s really hard to make them change their mind.”

Yuri felt like crying.

He saw the look in Yuya’s eyes, he heard the pain in his voice, he couldn’t even imagine how he must’ve felt then, how he was still feeling.

And he was even angrier at Hikaru and his brother for what they had done.

“They should've been close to you.” he murmured. “They should've been there for you, and they weren’t.”

Yuya shrugged again, resigned.

“It doesn’t matter. That period didn’t make much sense to me, and they’re a part of it, they’re remnant that I still feel. That’s all.” he brought his hand close to his face, hesitating while he caressed it. “You shouldn’t have been a part of this, Yuri. I told you it wasn’t going to end well, and you didn’t listen to me.”

The younger shook his head, serious.

“I'm not complaining. I'm the one who’s chosen to make it my business, Yuya. That’s my brother, even though it pains me having to say  that right now, and I have no intention to let him go on like this. And even if I can't do anything to stop him, at least I want a chance to try.”

“Why are you doing this?”

Yuri knew he couldn’t run from that question anymore.

Yuya had been honest with him, and he owed him that, somehow.

So he leant toward him, unable to say anything, until their lips were almost touching.

He didn’t move more than this, he couldn’t.

The elder sighed, and Yuri was about to pull back when he felt the other’s mouth press harder against his own, deepening that kiss, while Yuya brought his hands behind his back to hold him closer.

When they parted Yuya saw him blush, but he was smiling.

“Is this your answer?” Takaki asked, caressing his face slowly, as if he couldn’t help it.

He nodded, determined.

“Yes. This is my answer, I...” he bit his lip, again without managing to go on.

He kissed him again, harder than before, and kept pushing himself toward him until Yuya grabbed his hips, pulling him on top of himself.

Yuri straddled his lap, his hands on the elder’s back, under his shirt, slowly caressing up.

“Yu...” Yuya murmured, pulling back. “Yuri, perhaps we shouldn’t...”

The younger didn’t let his doubt make him waver, and shrugged.

“We should.” he said, going down to kiss on his neck, moving his hand to his shirt’s buttons, undoing them quickly, carried by the urge of the moment.

Yuya let go to the touch of his hands on his chest, down his sternum and to his navel, while he tried to keep his focus and take the younger’s shirt off, letting it fall on the floor.

Then he stopped, grabbing his wrists in his hand and smiling, pressing a quick kiss on his lips.

“Wait.” he said, getting up and pulling him toward the other door, the bedroom’s.

Yuri didn’t waste time looking around, deciding he was going to do that later, and he went sitting down on the mattress while the elder stood in front of him, undoing his own belt and fly, never tearing his eyes off of him.

“Yuri, did you ever...” he asked all of a sudden, realizing what  the answer was on his own by the embarrassment on the younger’s face.

He smiled, trying to make him feel as comfortable as possible, and softly pushing on his chest to make him lay down, bringing his mouth on his body and trying to reach every spot of it, slowly, playing his skin with his tongue and his teeth, discovering by the intensity of the younger’s moans what he liked and what he didn’t.

Yuri was nervous, a lot, but he was sure about this.

He had imagined this since he had realized he was in love with Yuya.

He had imagined this as something impossible, which was going to stay a fantasy, and now that it was actually happening he wasn’t going to let fear or nervousness get the best of him.

He wanted to enjoy his wish coming true.

He felt the elder take the remaining clothes off of him and raised his eyes to see him do the same with his own.

Then he closed his eyes, and let go.

Yuya’s mouth and hands were everywhere, and he moved so fast that it confused him.

He tried unsuccessfully to hold back a louder moan when he moved to his cock, wrapping his mouth around it, while his hands moved against his entrance.

It was all uncharted territory for him, but Yuri knew he could've easily gotten used to it.

When he felt the first finger slip inside of him he winced in discomfort, trying to get accustomed to the intrusion as soon as he could to allow him to go on.

Yuya raised his eyes, concerned, and smiled to him before going down to let his mouth reach his fingers, starting to prepared him with his tongue to ease any pain or discomfort.

Yuri didn’t know what to do.

He tried to push against him, even when he reached deeper, even when it really started to hurt, but it was a pain he didn’t understand, that he liked somehow, and he couldn’t wish for it to stop.

When Yuya deemed he was ready he went back on top of him, letting him open his legs further to make room for him and he smiled, caressing his face.

“Are you sure, Yu?” he murmured, leaning down to kiss him.

The younger nodded, not trusting his voice, and pushed his hips up.

When Yuya started pushing inside of him he clenched his eyes, biting down on his tongue until he felt the taste of his blood.

The elder asked him a few times if he wanted to stops, and Yuri always shook his head, determined to go on, to bear that sharp pain if it got him to feel Yuya inside of him, to feel him so close.

Once he bottomed out, the elder kept still for a long while, caressing him and kissing him and talking to him, trying to distract him.

When he started moving again  he was cautious, too much, and it took Yuri but a few thrusts to get used to feeling him inside, to that intense feeling of warmth, similar to nothing else he had ever experienced in his life.

As Yuya moved faster and deeper, the pain made way for the pleasure; he arched his back to meet his movements, wrapping his legs around his hips, moaning his name out loud, wanting to let him know how much he was enjoying this.

When the elder brought a hand to his cock and started stroking him, fast, Yuri knew it couldn’t last much longer.

When he climaxed he clawed Yuya’s arms, rolling his head back, screaming his name and spilling over his hand. 

He opened his eyes to see him smile, a smile of a sincerity he had never seen on his face, then he started moving again, more in a rush than before.

He came after a few more thrusts, and Yuri felt him spill inside of him, and he loved that too, just like he loved feeling him collapse next to him, like he loved it when he pulled him closer and pushed his head against his chest, letting Yuri feel how uneven his breath was.

Yuri closed his eyes, taking in the scent of Yuya’s skin blending with his own, and then he sighed,  relishing that sudden calm and that silence, as if during the past weeks he hadn't gotten a chance to rest and feel so serene.

It was worth it, everything was.

The wounds Hikaru had left on him that morning weren’t hurting, not anymore.

He had Yuya, it was all he could ask for, and now more than ever he didn’t care about what was going to happen to him, he didn’t are about what Kei could've said or done to him.

He had his share of happiness and he was going to defend it at all costs, just like at all costs he was going to defend Yuya.

 

~

 

Yuri knew Kei had noticed how the relationship between him and Yuya had changed.

He couldn’t ignore it, nor he had done something to keep it a secret.

When Hikaru had beaten him the first time, almost two weeks before, Kei had looked at the marks on his face without blinking.

Of all that had happened the past months, that had been what had hurt Yuri the most.

He had hoped that being his brother would've counted for something, he had hoped he wasn’t going to justify Hikaru for what he had done.

He had hoped it hadn't been something he had planned and then left to his friend to take care, but apparently he had been wrong.

Yuri was on Yuya’s side, and he deserved the same treatment as him.

He was fine with it.

He had nothing to do with him anymore, it bothered him to be under the same roof as him night after night.

That was not his brother, not anymore, and he wasn’t going to deem him such.

Yuya on his part kept repeating him to let him be, but then his actions betrayed his words.

Yuri spent whole afternoons at his place, and the elder didn’t seem to mind that one bit.

He had told him how long it had been since the last time he had felt so good, and Yuri was happy just with that.

That day, at the end of school, Yuri was waiting for Yuya sitting on the bleachers of the baseball field.

The elder was going to be done in about an hour, and he was ready to get bored as hell, when he saw Kei walking toward him, Hikaru behind him.

He knew he should’ve been afraid, but as much as he did he didn’t want to get up and leave.

It would've been pointless anyway. He couldn’t run, and he didn’t want to.

“Waiting for your boyfriend?” Hikaru asked when he was close enough to be heard, covering the distance in a few steps, getting behind him and grabbing his collar, forcing him up.

“Yes, I'm waiting for Yuya.” he replied, arching an eyebrow, trying as much as he could to ignore Yaotome, his focus all on Kei.

The latter got close slowly, no trace of mockery on his face.

“You’re into something bigger than you, Yuri.” he said, dead serious. “I don’t care that you’re my brother, if you’ve decided to blend in with that scum.”

“Scum?” the younger interrupted him, opening his eyes wide. “The two of you, with what you do to him, with the way you have been treating him all this time, the way you have refused him when he needed you the most...” he bit his lip, trying to control himself. “I believe the two of you are scum. And of the worst kind.”

Kei looked at him, and he seemed to be... sad, somehow.

He raised his eyes on Hikaru, then, nodding.

Yuri understood.

“Your hands are always the cleanest ones, aren't they onii-chan?”

But Kei didn’t reply, and he couldn’t tell him anything else.

Hikaru’s punches hurt, but not as much as his brother’s eyes on him, not as much as his indifference, his silence.

For Yuri, Kei hadn't been a brother since he had found out how the things with Yuya had gone down.

And for Kei, apparently, the feeling was mutual.

 

~

 

“Don’t do this. Please. I'm begging you, Yuya, don’t.”

The elder bit his lip, raising his eyes on him.

He put his clothes down on the armchair, sitting next to him on the bed, holding him tight.

“It’s the only way, Yuri. We’ve talked about this a dozen times, and it’s the only solution we have. That I have.” he murmured, kissing his forehead and holding him even tighter, as if he wasn’t ready to let him go.

And he wasn’t.

Yuri wasn’t either, and he hated him for the decision he had made, because he couldn’t face it.

For days Yuya had told him he wasn’t abandoning him and that he wasn’t breaking up with him, but that was how the younger felt, and he couldn’t help feeling inadequate, as if he had done something wrong.

Rationally, he understood that it wasn’t like that, but there was no reasoning with the emptiness he had felt when Yuya had told him he was going to leave Tokyo.

“I’ll come visit. And when you’ll finish school, if you’ll still...” he smiled, timidly. “If you’ll still want me, I’ll come get you and we’ll be together. Mine’s a promise, Yuri, and you know too well how much it costs me having to leave when I have resisted for so long, but...” he stared into space, letting go of him. “I’d rather get away from you than see you hurt because of me.”

Yuri shut up, feeling tears starting to run down his face.

He didn’t bother drying them, used as he had become to crying in the past few days.

He got it, he knew why he was doing it.

And as much as he could've told him it didn’t matter, that he didn’t care being beaten and vexed, he knew that he would've done the same for him.

He needed to be able to sacrifice something if he truly loved him, and that sacrifice was the biggest proof of his love Yuya could've given him.

As much as he hated that this was the only solution, a small part of him had liked the way the elder was taking care of him.

Takaki went back packing and he kept looking at him, as if every single thing he put away was a part of him going, and he kept crying, always hoping he was going to feel better.

Once he was done Yuya snorted, looking around the room.

“That’s it.” he said, torturing the palm of his hands with his fingernails. “Kyoto’s not that far, is it? My uncle and aunt will help me settle, and once I’ll be done, I’ll be able to come back to Tokyo whenever I could.” he bit his lip, hesitating. “But if you need something, just call me. For any problem, or even if you want to talk to me or see me... I’ll run to you straight away. You know that, right?”

Yuri raised his eyes, finally smiling for the way he tried to sound practical.

“Are you letting them win, Yuya?”

“No.” he replied, and now he sounded confident. “I'm showing them that I still own something for which I'm willing to sacrifice all I have.”

Yuri looked at him in the eyes, holding his breath.

The next day was going to be terrible. Just like the one next to that, and the next one after. There was a lonely tomorrow waiting for him, where he wasn’t going to be able to rely on Yuya’s presence next to him.

But those days were going to pass, Yuya had promised that to him.

He stood up, reaching for him and hugging him.

He pressed his lips against his without meaning to let go of him, aware of how much he needed this to avoid forgetting his taste.

“I love you, Yuri. I’m never going to leave you alone, I promise you.”

“I believe you.” the younger murmured, this time without feeling the need to cry. “And I love you too. For real.”

It didn’t matter what they had to sacrifice, how much pain was coming.

In the end, they had still won.


End file.
